Iceland

This dream of mine

It started small

Ever so gradual

It grew into something

Something that won't be a dream

but a reality

It has grown into something that is no longer an interest

but a passion

My next destination: Iceland

"Á silfur á
Lýsir allan heiminn og augun blá
Skera stjörnuhiminn
Ég óska mér og loka nú augunum
Já, gerðu það, nú rætist það"

"On a silver river
Illuminating the whole world, and the blue eyes
Cut the starry sky
I make a wish and now close my eyes
Yes, do that, now it comes true"

I remember those nights

I remember those nights where we would go to Betos to get food at 2:00 in the morning. I remember when we would crash on the couch watching Family Guy. I remember when you would want to take a drive with me, even when we had no where to go. I remember how much you convinced me to go get McDonalds with you, even though I was behind on my math homework. That math homework isn't important anymore. Do you still remember those moments? That was back when you were still here, and I want to let you know that the void still hasn't been filled. You were my best friend, you were there for me, you were almost a part of me.

You will be back.

But that day. The day that you will be back. It seems a lot longer away then it actually is.

It doesn't feel like you will be back. The emails just don't feel real anymore. They are just words without a face behind them. They are as empty as I feel.

I just need to know, do you remember? Are your memories of us as vivid as mine? Do you hold them as close as I do?

I know you remember. I saw it in your eyes. I felt it in your tremble. I heard it in your voice, I heard it in your voice when you said "Goodbye".

I thought I had stitched the scars shut, permanently

But the blood began to ooze through the stitchings once again

It's a pain that I had wished to forget

But somehow it found its way back into my life

Now I sleep with my eyes open, again

The forgotten miner

Nostalgia

I was the hero of my story
I had my stick
No
My sword, I had my sword sheathed on my back
I had endured many tests and trials to prove myself a true hero
I finally proved worthy to wield the sacred sword
The sword that can fell evil with one swift stroke

My journey through my backyard
No
My journey through the 5 countries on the continent plunged into darkness
I fought my way through countless armies
Finally strong enough to face the dark god herself

I finally entered the christmas tree farm behind my house
No
I finally entered the tower of the gods to face evil herself
Just one man, to save the world
Me

I entered the tree farm
No
The chamber where she waiting for me. Waiting to kill me
I had gone too far to fail now, everyone was depending on me
We engaged in a fierce battle

I attacked swiftly by swinging a blow with my stick
No
My legendary sword
He dark magic was strong
But in my young naive mind, I was unstoppable
After hours of a fierce fight, I was going to deliver the final blow
I was going to save the world

Come in, It's time to eat

Ok mom

I dropped my sword never to pick it up again.

I have accepted defeat

How to not care

If you're anything like me, you once wanted to please everyone. You lied, you went out of your way to please. You never did anything for yourself. And to anyone who still does that, I'm sorry. I'm sorry you can't let go of what people think of you, because you can't please them all. Someone will always end up hating you. I'm sorry that you can't walk into the middle of a bustling mall and breakout in dance without any music just because thousands of people who don't give a shit might just think you are weird. The secret to life is to not care. Not to not care in a sense that you have no one close to you. Don't care what people think. Be yourself. And if someone tears you down for being yourself, they aren't worth it. I have learned a lot from my best friend. He is the one who taught me not to care. I used to be that kid who wouldn't dance because I was too self conscious. I used to be the kid that wouldn't talk to anyone because I was too afraid that they would look down on me. He has changed me and influenced me more than can imagine. And for that, thank you.

Dancing is a blast

I don't know how to dance, but I still do. I dance when I'm not supposed to dance. When there is no music, in public, in the shower (well maybe not there) and am I any good? Nope! Do I care? Nope! Other people seem to like it though, strangely enough. My moves consist of awkward arm flails and swivels, booty work, off beat steps and kicks, and the occasional bow of the head and finger point straight up in the air. It's quite phenomenal, really. People often stop and ask if I actually do dance and I just look at them with utmost seriousness (arms and legs still flailing about) and say "nope" and dance away. If you are scared to dance, suck it up, learn to not care, and work it!

Also, if I could dance like this man, my life would be complete.

A one way thought process

I'm thinking about you. I'm thinking about you more than you are thinking about him

I'm thinking about you like a phone thinks about its charger to regain life

Like that iceberg thinks about sinking

Like welders think about finally connecting 

Like a frown thinks about being happy

I'm thinking about you like a prostitute thinks about that empty money

Like that toy at the bottom of the toy box thinks about being played with

Like a leaf thinks about its final memories as it floats delicately to the ground

Like a soldier thinks about his child back at home

Like stoners think about their next high

I'm thinking about you like a lost cub thinks about its mother

Like the atmosphere thinks about burning things

Like a pyromaniac thinks about burning things

Like a fire thinks about burning things

Like a shovel thinks about burying things?

I think about you like the tear of a final heartbeat thinks about... death

Like a torn family thinks about the past

Like an orphan thinks about families

Like the poison that kills

Like the antidote that doesn't exist

I'm thinking about you like you used to think about me. And I should probably stop thinking about you too.

 

Tides of the moon

Ever since I was just a lad, I've looked up into the sky at night and wondered, "Why is that moon there?"It does illuminate the night sky to an extent, but what am I doing while it's lighting up the night sky? Oh yah, I'm sleeping.

Thanks moon.

Apparently it affects the way the tide does its business splashing on the beach. Does that really have a profound effect on life? Well it might, but not to me. I'm just a simple dude.

Enough with the moon bashing though.

That warm night on the beach. The only sound is the tide gently crashing on the cold sand. A memory that I hold dear, faded by time. Running across the beach, the warm air rushing through my hair, my toes sinking into the moist sand, splashing through the tides. The only light is from the white reflection of the moon dancing on the surface of the water. The glorious view out into the erie unknown depths of the ocean. Just that thought still sends shivers down my spine.

Thank you, moon.

The bliss of Iceland

If I could visit any one place in the world, it would be Iceland. The natural beauty of it just takes my breath away. There is so much that I could do there, so many places to see, so much adventure. From the stunning mountains looming over you with their ice capped peaks, to the unique rock formations and land designs. From sheer cliffs with glorious waterfalls crashing over them, to glaciers that are oh so cold to the touch. To top it all of, you have a magnificent view of the northern lights that illuminate the skies with their glorious rays. That alone, is why I want to visit this beautiful land. The beauty of it doesn't stop there. Just the language has a sound to it that is calming to the ears. If you have ever heard the band Jonsi or Sigur Ros, you probably know what I am talking about. If not, go look into them, you will be blown away. It is my greatest dream to one day explore this country from top to bottom. It is a dream that I will make reality.

http://www.wimp.com/naturalbeauty/

There, along the road

"There, along the road, was a tiny home
The yard held dead machines behind its fences
Like they were its kids
Broken down, but still worth a lot to someone
It made me stop and grin

Light from a dying moon
It blurs our eyes
And we wear a cape of fireflies
And after the world's in bed
All the ghosts come sing along
But we'll forget them
When the morning comes"

Words from an injured heart

Your fingernails followed my vains as a roadmap through my dark twisted soul, leaving traces of poison so subtle, it felt good. Your poison was my drug that made me feel good. Your fingernails kept tracing. Searching for what they couldn't find. They found my rib cage, slowly seeped through the cracks to find the lifeline. Your greed and lust wanted it. I opened it up to you, I gave to you what I treasured. You stole it so subtly, I didn't notice. You replaced it with hollow memories of what once was. Those memories soon faded into a dream, a dream then to nothing. A nothing that just sits in my chest as the wind that weaves its way through the ribs and echoes through the empty cavity in my chest.

The greatest irrational fear of them all

Why do people even fear death? It's inevitable. As a matter of fact, we are always tempting death. Everyday we push it further, further, further, further, until we can feel deaths tongue tickling our feet. It exhilarates us, we love it, but we fear it. Death is just waiting for that one wrong move, for us to just push it a bit too far. Death doesn't like the way we tease it, so it returns the favor. It teases us with small samples of death, leaving us wanting more. We take the bait, slowly and steadily until death can finally grab our ankles with his cold, boney fingers, and drag us to the depths of hell. From what I've heard, it's pretty cold in hell, but you've brought your sweaters, so I'm sure you won't mind.

Father I'm not feeling well 
The flowers me you fed 
Tasted spoiled for suddenly 
I find that I am dead 
But father don't you fear 
Your children all are here 
Singing ooooh the hazards of love 

Father turn the water down 
The basins overflown 
The water covers everything 
And me left all alone 
But papa here in death 
I have regained my breath 

I'm just... scared

I'm scared of how you left me. You left me wandering around in the guilt of my own mind, full of empty thoughts of how I was the one who messed up. I'm scared of those thoughts that you left me with, of the memories that once brought me up that now just tear me down. I'm scared of you. Your person. Who you are. I'm scared to talk to you. I'm scared how you don't even notice me anymore, of how easy it was for you to let go... I really shouldn't be scared of you.

It's my mind.

I'm scared of my mind. I'm scared of what I think of you. Of what I think that you think of me. I'm scared that everything I think is false and you are really just... as... broken... as... me.... 

Are we all this broken? I'm scared of how my heart feels when I see you. Of how it hides behind its bone cage in my chest when it sees your beautiful face. Your beautiful face. The face that once brought me so much happiness, now just brings... Fear. I fear that face. I'm terrified of it. I'm terrified of how it makes me feel. It makes me feel confused. Am I scared of confusion? Can I be scared of what I don't know? I fear what I don't know. That may be why I fear you. I don't know you anymore.

Treasure Hugs

I thought my life was perfect back then. I loved you and thought you felt the same. My brother was still here for me. I was happy. My brother left, it was a blow to the heart, but you were still there for me. I thought I loved you and thought that you loved me too. You loved me so much to rip my beating heart out of my chest. You said you didn't want to ruin anything between us. What did that mean? What we had meant so much to you, that you went and kissed him. "I don't want to ruin anything between us." "I care about you too much." Those words are echoing in the back of my head. They are haunting me. What do they mean?
I hate you for what you did.
I love you.
I hate you.
I love you.
I now have to fight my brain as it screams out to talk to you. To just dial your number and talk to you. Like how it used to be. I wish I could just talk to you, but now you're just a stain in my memory.

A shout out to bricks.

Do we ever stop and think about bricks? They do everything for us. They are the structure of our houses, build our roads, and we just walk all over them. They carry the burden of our weight and hold the structure of our dwellings. Yet we just walk all over them. Maybe just a quick thank you wouldn't hurt. A moment of silence to our fellow bricks that have fallen to the mighty wrecking ball (insert Miley Cyrus joke here). This goes out to all of those under appreciated bricks that go unnoticed. I appreciate all of your efforts.

Greatest lyric of all time?

now I sit on the rooftop's edge

the muddy street beneath my swollen head

trying to forget you, to believe we'd never met

and the sky is wrecked; full of rotting clouds

from chimney mouths spewing smoke around

and I can't stop coughing

my lungs just won't calm down

but I still keep grinning

as the blood from my face stains the ground

Let's carve my aging face off,
Fetch us a knife,
Start with my eyes,
Down so the lines,
Form a grimacing smile

We peek from the edge of an old rusty bridge.
Down in the water is the house where we were raised.
And over where the trees and gardens used to be.
Are remnants of pictures we still carry in our minds.

I hear the engines

they're roaring in our mouths

those metal creatures

are crawling tooth and nail to get out

I see the airplanes

they're pouring from your chest

they fill the air

and burn and bury you just like the rest

Sleep don't visit, so I choke on sun, and the days blur into one
And the backs of my eyes hum with things I've never done
Sheets are swaying from an old clothesline
Like a row of captured ghosts over old dead grass
Was never much, but we've made the most
Welcome home

What are some of your favorite song lyrics? Please share in the comments.

I carry in my chest, a pound of flesh.

I am very inexperienced when it comes to love. I have a very shallow opinion on it. That might have something to do with the fact that I am only 17. But here is the only love story that I've had so far in my young life. All I have to say is that I hope it gets better...

I remember when we first met. My head told me that there was no chance, but my heart had different plans for me. We were on our way to pick you up at your house, we haven't really ever talked much, but you knew my friends. I stayed relatively calm... well until I saw you. You got into the back seat with me, I said nothing. I didn't know what to say, so I just kept my head down. I didn't say anything until we got to my house when I finally got the courage to start a conversation. You stole my heart. You must have been a master thief because I don't know how you did it that fast. That was the night that started it all.

I remember prom night. How beautiful you looked in your dress. You were perfect. I was a love stricken fool. That night was perfect, the memory that is etched into my mind is perfect. Dancing with you, with your head resting on my chest. I felt like the luckiest man in the world. I had to do it that night. I had to kiss you. I walked you to the porch, I hadn't been that nervous since the day I first met you. We were saying our goodbyes when I told you how I felt about you. Hey, listen, I... really like you. (Shit, that sounded really stupid.) She didn't care, she felt the same way. Well courage meter depleted, back to car. I didn't kiss her that night.

I remember the day you returned my heart. It was in tattered pieces. You abused it, took advantage of it, cheated on it. You meant the world to me, I valued what we had more then anything. Apparently you didn't value me as much as I valued you. I made a huge mistake. Why did you do it? Why did you kiss him? Did I ever cross your mind when it happened? Was there even the slightest hint of guilt? You could have broken up with me before you kissed him.

Now these memories are fading, they feel more like a faint dream now. But the feelings, they are still fresh. They are still bleeding. My heart hasn't healed yet, those scars are still settling. I haven't talked to you for 4 weeks and 3 days, but who is counting. I see that you went to AF homecoming last night, it's alright, I... don't... care... Let's see how much longer my heart can hold itself together before it crumbles into nothing.

I believed the skies were doorways home

The young mind is a wonderful thing. It didn't know, it believed. It is so naive to the world, it is yet to discover the cutting edges of life. It's almost as if when we grow up, we forget how to truly enjoy life. There are times when I'm looking out the window, stumped on what to do. When The thought crosses my mind that when I was a kid, I could just go out there and make something up. I could pick up a stick and say it was a sword. I could slay a dragon with that sword. I could shoot fire from my hands. The underneath of my trampoline was a hut in the jungle. I was a pokemon master and there was a grand world out there for me to explore. There was that damsel in distress that always needed saving. What if we all still had that creativity and imagination? Our world would be much more vibrant and full of life! I can't help but to think, why can't we keep that child in us? Well who knows? I feel that now I am the damsel in distress needing to be saved.

We are here

I'm just a robot. Lost the ability to feel. Lost the ability to think on my own. I am no longer meant to feel. I just go through my daily motions, lifeless. They program us what we should think, do, or say. Have we lost that human touch? That breath of life that keeps us secure on what's real or not? I can't really say for myself. I've lost that grasp on reality and now wander around in my thoughts like the lifeless robot I am. Is it all just a bad dream? I need to break the chains of my past to breath in the future. My wiring is messed up. My sentences don't flow right. They are all broken up. Is this how I am programed? Have I been reprogramed? I think I just need a reboot. A better firewall to keep these viruses out of my head. They are painful, they infect me with poisons I don't want. I'm having a malfunction... I need... sleep...

Intro

Ben Cooper is a most excellent musician I decided to go off of for my blog. He is my main inspiration for taking this class. He really has a way with his words and is very poetic. It got me into poetry and going to the poetry nights like speak for yourself. In this class I really look forward to increasing my ability to write creatively and to get better at writing poetry.